No Spend October, Looking Back

I am happy with how no spend October went down. I spent some money, I had to buy groceries and gas so it wouldn't have been an absolutely no spend month. I planned on taking advantage of L.L. Bean's next sale and so I did. The only unplanned expense I feel really guilty about is the $35 I spent at Bath and Body Works because three wick candles were buy 1 get 1 free 😮 and I had a 20% off coupon. I also bought a Beachbody Performance Sampler but I'm a Beachboy Coach so that's a business expense, right?

Here's a recap of all the spending that's kind of suspect:

• 10/3 We went out to dinner in part because I was tired and the turkey hadn't defrosted but we used gift cards so we only ended up paying about $5
• 10/5 I bought a salad from the salad bar at the grocery store for lunch.
• 10/5 I bought Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People but I had committed to reading this book last month so I bought it when I realized I'd need to buy it to reach my goal of reading it
• 10/6 I bought five flannel shirts and a pair of replacement mittens in the L.L. Bean sale for myself, plus a present
• 10/6 I bought fancy party supplies at Target for the kids
• 10/7 I went to Starbucks and paid with my gift card
• 10/10 We had lunch at Five Guys on the way to my in-laws for the evening (not my idea but I happily supported it)
• 10/12 We went out for froyo at my suggestion
• 10/13 I ordered a Beachboy Performance Sampler (the link takes you to purchase the sampler if you're interested, I get a commission)
• 10/13 I picked up some dry cleaning (I should try harder at buying machine wash clothes)
• 10/17 We met some friends for doughnuts at Tim Hortons (not my idea)
• 10/17 We headed out to dinner again as a special treat for one of the Kiddos
• 10/20 The perfect present for the Hubs popped up on sale at Amazon so I got it for him for our dating anniversary in November
• 10/21 I ordered a pair of shoes from Zappos that came back in stock, there was one pair left! I returned them when I tried them on and discovered that they didn't fit perfectly
• 10/22 We had pizza for dinner because I am an absolute failure at being motivated to make dinner
• 10/23 I bought lots of Halloween candy and I bought the good stuff in the hope that we would have lots of leftovers
• 10/28 I bought an emergency legal pad at Staples because I left mine in the office
• 10/30 I placed an order at JetPens because they had a study tool the kiddo thought would be helpful and I got some more pens and new pencil case for myself because free shipping

Have you tried a no spend month? How did it work out for you? Did you binge spend the next month? I'm hopping to keep November "no spend" as well, with an exception for resupplying some underwear since my favorite online underwear store, Bare Necessities, sent me a 30% off coupon (and if you follow this link you'll get 20% off and I'll get credit for a referral) and I want to replace a few household items that aren't absolutely necessary to replace.

Best,

EAH

Thirty Before Thirty Part 1

So thirty is coming up and I've been thinking really hard about things I might do before I turn thirty. I think it's traditional to have a list of thirty things but I can't think of that many! Here's my 10 before 30 list:

1. Visit the Desert of Maine
2. Read a representative sample of Martin Luther King Jr.'s works
3. Can some food
4. Read the Gospels
5. Start using Photos instead of iPhoto
6. Start a real retirement savings account, investment not just savings
7. Join an organization in my new community
8. Use my sewing machine and the Lilly fabric I bought to make something (a shift or circle skirt)
9. Buy a headboard for our bed
10. Finish one of my long neglected needlework projects

No skydiving here! I'm too grounded. Do you have any suggestions to help me round out my 30 before 30 list?

Best,

eHa

“I hope I die before I get old ...”

So I saw TIME Magazine’s cover story while I was checking out at the grocery store … it’s “Help! My Parents are Millennials.” Now I haven’t actually read the story because I have no time to read a magazine, I have kids to care for after all and they take up so much of my time and their wonderful but also they take up so much time. But I’ve seen so many articles about people my age written by people who were my age 20 or 30 years ago. 

And I’m just fed up. I didn't spring fully formed and full of wisdom from my parent's head and neither did anyone else my age. We were born and our parents taught us how to use a spoon, how to read, and how to live in the world. So, it's really galling when people older than us talk about how we're messing everything us because the same people who are complaining about us are the same people who taught us how to do the things were doing.

When I was a kid, I was told that the way to success in life was to do well in school and to have lots of schooling. I was taught that the financial benefits of that were so great that I wouldn't really need to worry about the student loans I took out to get that education. I suspect most of my peers were told the same things by their parents. Schools have focuses on getting kids into college at the exclusion of more practical education. But what I guess our parents didn't take into account is the fact that a college education is way more expensive than it was when they went to college (between the time my dad graduated from college and the time I went to college (about 35 years) tuition at our alma mater increased ten fold).

I feel like we did as we were told and we're being punished and ridiculed for it now. I am willing to take rsponsibility for the mistakes I've made but I feel like the adults who taught us how to be shouldn't blame us for the circumstances were in now with out also taking responsibility for the fact that maybe they didn't teach us as well as they could have.

Also, the title of this post references The Who's My Generation. It seems like generational conflict is just a part of modern American life.

Trip Home Recap #throwbackthursday

So, at the end of the summer Hubs and I loaded up my in laws mini van with two kids and their stuff and drove out to visit my parents.

It was the experience of a life time and I now why my parents drove ALL night when we went on road trips when I was a child...it's so much easier when things are quiet.

We celebrated two birthdays! A Kiddos' (all she wanted was a Batman cake) and my Dad's!

We went to the Shedd and the Brookfield Zoo. Both my parents enjoyed walking round with the Kiddos and seeing things. I was disappointed by the lack of educational information disseminated by the Shedd, it seemed to be look at these cool animals and then learn nothing about why they're so cool! The Zoo was slightly better. Hubs and the little kiddo saw a bear poop, it was the highlight of Hubs day.

We went swimming at my mom's new place near Lake Zurich and I got a tiny frap from the Lake Zurich Target. And, almost all the pictures I took were pictures of the Kiddos so I can't share them. :(

I also brought back a ton of stuff from my childhood bedroom. So now I have even more boxes of books sitting around in my house here.

Pumpkin Candies

When life gives you pumpkins, you make pumpkinaide? If you do let me know how it tastes. I used my cups and cups of fresh pumpkin puree to make candy. Pumpkin pie caramels to be exact. I saw the recipe on The Kitchen Prep. Her recipe was for pumpkin "turtles," those caramel, chocolate, and pecan goodies. She "adapted" the caramel recipe from Challenge Dairy. There will be left over caramel. You will want a candy thermometer and maybe lab goggles since caramel is HOT.

I made some caramel pecan chocolate candies and had plenty of leftover caramel for just caramels. I did not change Dianna's recipe at all, so pop over there and check it out. (If you're going to store these for a while or send them, you should temper the chocolate before you use it or use quik melt fake chocolate stuff.) I did learn some things actually making the caramel so I've reproduced my version of that recipe below my prep picture. I don't have any pictures of the finished product--that tells you something. My husband doesn't like caramel but he liked these because the texture was different, softer, than store bought caramels.

Preparation!

Pumpkin Caramel
½ cup (1 stick) Salted Butter (add ¼ teaspoon of salt to a stick of unsalted butter)
1½ cups white sugar (maybe next time I'll try brown sugar or adding a little molasses)
½ teaspoonground cinnamon
½ teaspoonground ginger
¼ teaspoon ground allspice
A dash of cloves if you're feeling brave
1 cup light corn syrup*
1⅓ cup (14 oz. can) sweetened condensed milk
½ cup 100% pumpkin puree

1 teaspoon Pumpkin Pie Spice could be substituted for cinnamon, ground ginger, and ground allspice.

Line a 9" square pan with parchment paper and grease it. In a heavy 2 to 3 quart sauce pan, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the sugar and spices, blend throughly. Add corn syrup, sweetened condensed milk, and pumpkin slowly and mixing well after each addition. Cook over medium heat, stirring frequently to prevent scorching until the temperature reaches 248°F (firm ball stage). Remove from heat and pour into pan. Cool. Cut candy in to small squares (less than 1") and wrap in wax paper. Store in an airtight container.

WHATEVER YOU DO DO NOT POUR THE CARAMEL ON UNGREASED WAX PAPER THE WAX WILL MELT INTO THE HOT, HOT CARAMEL! IT WILL TASTE WEIRD AND PAPERY!

*One thing I vividly remember about growing up in Illinois is a man from Big Corn came to talk to our elementary school class about corn and he brought in corn syrup and told us to put it on our pancakes.

Enjoy,

EAH

Pumpkin Pie, 21 Day Fix Style

21 Day Fix Pumpkin Pie

Ingredients

1 can pumpkin (2 cups pureed roasted pumpkin or other winter squash)
1 cup nonfat skim milk
1/4 cup powdered stevia extract (or other non-nutritive sweetener)
2 large eggs
2 tablespoons molasses
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
dash cloves
1/2 teaspoon salt
Cooking spray

Directions
Prepare a pie pan with cooking spray. Preheat the oven to 425°F. Combine the pumpkin, milk, sweetener, eggs, molasses, spices, and salt in medium bowl and stir until smooth. Pour mixture into pie pan or ramekins. Bake for 15 minutes at 425ºF. Reduce the oven temperature to 350°F; bake an additional 35 to 40 minutes or until knife inserted 1-inch from the edge comes out clean. Cool the pie before serving. This recipe serves eight. Store in the refrigerator.

It was hard to get out of the pie pan.

Container Break Down
2/3 green container
1/4 red container

The 21 Day Fix Eating Plan allows 2 cups (8 oz.) of of coffee and tea a day. Each cup of coffee or tea can have 1 to 2 tablespoons nonfat skim milk and 1 to 2 teaspoons of raw sugar, honey, molasses, maple syrup, agave syrup, or stevia. If you don't have coffee or tea you can use the coffee and tea allowance of 1/4 cup and up to 4 teaspoons of sugar for other things like PIE! Each slice of this pie has 1/8 (2 tablespoons) cup of milk and 1 1/2 teaspoons of stevia and 3/4 teaspoons of molasses.

1 cup of diced winter squash equals one green container. One cup of diced pumpkin yields about 1/3 cup of pumpkin puree.

Roasted Pumpkin

Inspired by my favorite pumpkin pie recipe published by eagle brand and this light and crustless pumpkin pie recipe. Per the reviews on the crustless pie recipe, it might be nice to bake it in ramekins.

Roasted Pumpkin Becoming Pumpkin Puree

Pumpkin Pancakes

Fall has turned into being all about that squash, that squash being pumpkin. But I still think of fall as apple season. Late in September my maternal family would head up to Edward's Orchard to go apple picking, buy apple cider, and eat the absolute best apple cider doughnuts. To me fall is all about harvesting apples. But sometimes you buy a pie pumpkin (for the seeds of course) at the store and end up with quarts of fresh roasted pumpkin puree. So, here's a recipe for pumpkin pancakes!

Various Winter Squashes in Various Forms

Pumpkin Pancakes
Makes about fifteen two tablespoon of batter pancakes

3 eggs
1 1/2 cup milk
1 1/2 cup pumpkin puree
2 tablespoons melted butter
1 tablespoon brown sugar

1 cup whole wheat flout
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 pinch to 1/8 teaspoon cloves (optional)

Grease and heat the pan on medium. Mix liquid ingredients and sugar. Mix the dry ingredients. Gently mix the dry ingredients with the wet ingredients. Add the batter to the pan. Flip when bubbles form in the batter and the bottom of the pancake is brownish.

Inspired by Mark Bittman's Everyday Pancakes (his pancake making instructions are the best if you need more detail than I've provided) and Eagle Brand's Pumpkin Pie.

I hope you enjoy,
EAH


PS I'm sorry about my spotty posting. I try to post Tuesdays and Thursday and I was able to do that before our kiddos joined us. I will definitely be posting every Thursday (because when I realize that I've forgotten on Tuesday, I'm extra motivated to get a post scheduled for Thursday).

No Spend October

October is going to be No Spend October for me. I bought a lot in Spetember.

I ordered a better sweater jacket, two pairs of the warmest long underwear bottoms and a long underwear top from Patagonia. I placed a large order at Target for some kiddo clothes and throw blankets for the kids to use because they keep draging their bed comforters all over the house. I also got new pillow cases and a throw blanket for me. I bought a TON of blue pens from Jet Pens (this site is so awsome) and Amazon because I am a lawyer and pens are very important to me and I've been having trouble finding ones that I like to use that don't bleed thru legal pads. I also picked up a bible translated to a third grade reading level, an external hard drive to back up my computer now that I carry it aroud with me regularly (we had shared an external hard drive for back ups between our two computers but I wasn't backing up my computer often because I had to detach it from my husband's iMac and recconect it to my MacBook and there's no convient place for my MacBook to sit next to the iMac), and a charchol odor absorber since the kiddos like perfume and I do not Then I bought some new tights and bras because Bare Necessities is have a sale. All these purchases were justifiable but not entierly necessary.

My Rules Are:
I'm not spending money on me this month. I can spend money on consumables and replacements for necessary things. So I'll be gassing up my car and buying groceries as usual. I'll be replacing things as they break if they are things that really add value to my life. I'll also be buying gifts to give to people if I see something they like that is on sale--my dating anniversary, my mom's birthday, and Christmas are all coming up. I won't eat out of my own initiative. If my family wants to go out to eat, I will. I'll go out to lunch or eat lunch out once no more than once a week if my co-workers or work schedule demand.

Let's see how this goes!

Birthday Month, in Review

My birthday was this month. My mom came out to visit. Her flight was delayed overnight so I picked her up the Saturday morning of labor day weekend. I saw a praying mantis at the airport while waiting to pick her up! We headed up to Freeport for lunch and shopping. We at lunch at one of my absolute favorite places the Mediterranean Grill. As far as I can tell it's the only place where you can get gyros north of Portland and they're absolutely delicious. As to shopping ... We're shopaholics, yet we didn't end up buying anything. (I am still on the look out for a new wallet that will hold my inhaler, some spare antihistamines, and chapstick.) It was quite the accomplishment. Perhaps we are recovered? The kiddos wanted to go to Olive Garden for dinner. (Ugh. But they and my mom like it and there are unlimited breadsticks.)

On Sunday we went out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant in town and then headed home for cake on the porch. Hubs accidentally bought magic relight candles for his asthmatic wife. I huffed and I puffed then I had to take a puff on my inhaler before we could have cake. It took a long time to blow out the candles AND they generated a lot of smoke so even though we were out side it was as challenge.

Post Candle Fiasco

I got a Kindle and I asked my husband if he got me a cheap one. He did and he was offended by the question. I also got a Chewbacca koozie.

On Labor Day, I dropped my mom off at the airport and hit the mall by myself. It was great! I got a bra fitting, picked up some stuff at Sephora, and found some Fiestaware on sale at Bon Ton.

I had cake for breakfast for a couple of days. I love Hannaford's sheet cakes. They are almost as good as my wedding cake. (Last year Hubs asked the woman who made our wedding cake to make my birthday cake because he is the best and I told him that was a good idea.)

Later we celebrated my birthday with my in-laws. It was a pasta salad extravaganza!

We had five types of boxed pasta salad and two veggie salads, pea salad and a green bean salad. Also, there were hot dogs. But I had just requested pasta salad. I know know that I prefer classic, creamy Italian, and caesar. Parmesan and Bacon Ranch are kind of overwhelming.

And that's about it. I did get ready to start my first round of the 21 Day Fix Extreme! I took before photos, measurements, and I tested my strength. I'm a week in right now, I got sick in the middle of the month, and I'm interested to see what kind of results I'll have. Since, I have a lot of pasta salad and cake to work off.

Ponds and Head and Shoulders, Two Product Reviews

So this past winter I had some skin trouble. It was so dry in our new rented house and so dry at work; my skin and hair were in anguish. I tried new makeup and I tried a new leave-in conditioner for my hair. They both gave me rashes since my skin is so sensitive.

Hubs's aunt recommended I try Ponds because that's what his cousin used on her sensitive skin. I was skeptical at first because it had fragrance, a big no for people with sensitive skin, and the fragrance smelled overwhelmingly like a stereotypical grandmother's perfume. It was over powering and my husband noticed. But it went on and it didn't irritate the rash caused by the new tinted moisturizer I tried. So, I kept using it and in about a week I noticed that the dark circles under my eyes weren't quite so bad.

Ponds noticeably improved my dark circles. It's about $5 for a big jar, all the little $20+  eye creams from Sephora that I've tried haven't done so much so fast. I was seriously impressed and I will keep using this until I die so that my grandchildren will come to associate the smell of Ponds with their good looking grandma.

So I ended up with a really, really bad rash on my scalp. I had tried coconut oil on my hair but I found that to hard to manage and too greasy. So I switched to a leave-in conditioner with a lot of fragrance in it that made it smell like a dirty hippy trying to cover up her dirty hippy smell. I got a rash on my scalp. I thought it was just dry scalp so I used more and the rash got worse. Eventually I figured out it was the leave-in conditioner, I'll blame the overwhelming fragrance, I should know better.

I ended up going to the doctor because the rash generated really bad dandruff, I thought my scalp was falling off (it was disgusting), I started to develop a bald spot on the side of my head, and my husband's dandruff shampoo burned when I used it. She recommended head and shoulders but said I had to stick with it. About the same time I read Chioma's review of Head and Shoulders new product line for "textured hair" aka Afros. I think Head and Shoulders must have had a big blogger based advertising push because I read about it other places too.

I was pretty skeptical of the the Head and Shoulders since I had been trying to go no-poo/sulphate free shampoo. But, it made my dandruff better and now I don't have dandruff anymore. And, when I went to get my hair cut last week my hair dresser commented on how soft my hair was! I wash my air with the shampoo about twice a week and I use the "co-wash" (the conditioner) after shampooing and in-between. I am so happy with how my hair is!

I was so pleasantly surprised by both these relatively cheap products that I discovered over the past year and I just had to share about them! It almost made up for the fact that Dove discontinued my favorite, and virtually the only, fragrance free antiperspirant deodorant this past year. I loved that stuff, now the only truly fragrance free antipersperant I can find is a gel. I've been alternating between that and Dove's Go Sleeveless Soothing Chamomile Deodorant (the fragrance is over powering but it hasn't caused a rash so far).

Best,
EAH

Do you have any products that you recommend?

Refrigerator Pickles

I love pickled beets. (Also other types of pickles.) Canned pickled beets (Aunt Nellie's) cost twice as much just plain canned beets so I thought I'd try my hand at making them on my own. I found this recipe and then modified it to my tastes; though I love garlic, I do not love garlic and beets. At the same time I prepared the beets, I made Budget Bytes's Spicy Pickled Carrots, I substituted a half teaspoon of red pepper flakes for the jalapeño.


Refrigerator Pickled Beets

1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup sugar
1 15-oz can beets, drained
1 teaspoon black pepper or pickling spice
1 pint sized canning jar or similar heat proof container with lid

Boil the cider vinegar, water, and sugar for 5 minutes. Let cool. Add beets and spices to jar, pour vinegar mixture over the top and put a tight lid on the jar. Put in fridge and let stew for a week, shaking occasionally for fun.

Step By Step Photos

Prepping

Making the Pickling Vinegar

Filling up the Canning Jar

Adding the Pepper

Adding the Pickling Spice

Topping it off with the Vinegar Mixture

Ready to Chill in the Fridge

Update: I find the black pepper pickled beets to taste better with equal amounts of vinegar, water, and sugar.


PS I apologize for missing my regularly scheduled Thursday post last week; I was sick AND I had a trial to prep for and I completely forgot what day I was in.

Off to Be the Wizard, a Book Review

While driving out to visit my parents I read the best book! I'm going to start all rambling but I promise it gets somewhere...

I have also always loved science fiction and fantasy as genera. Lately I've been reading a lot of speculative fiction which is the umbrella term for science fiction and fantasy and things where the world is just kind of different. In middle school I was obsessed with computers and wanted to be a l33t haX0r. At about the same time I was a kid I used to play SimLife and The Sims all the time and I wondered what if we were sims on some computer somewhere! (I've never seen this particular concept outside of a dense philosophy tome; people aren't sims The Matrix, they're real they're just in a virtual world.)

This book takes that concept, the what if we're all part of a computer simulation, and runs with it to the Middle Ages. It is a crazy wonderful internally consistent mashup of science fiction and fantasy. It is also hilarious and it had me laughing out loud by myself. It's light jovial tone and fantasy setting reminded me so much of Terry Pratchett.

I read it for free during the trial period of KindleUnlimted that I ended up with when I downloaded the Kindle App to my phone. I loved the book so much that I am going to buy digital versions of the sequels (Spell or High Water and An Unwelcome Quest) because the author, Scott Meyer, NEEDS my money because his first book added so much value to my life.

And that is my book review. I loved Off to Be the Wizard and I think you will to if you like computers and speculative fiction or just reading hilarious books.

Tieks!

Levo League and Tieks ran a promotion where by Levo members got $50 off coupon. Having heard wonderful things about Tieks. I ordered a pair! I needed a new pair of navy flats since I've had to repair worn spots the pair I've had with sharpie.

I ordered by pair on Monday, August 4th. They offer two day priority mail shipping so I thought I'd get them before the move. They shipped the next day and the anticipated delivery day was August 7th! But that was not to be as you can see. They arrived after we moved and they had to be forwarded.

I came home looking for a great big box. And I couldn't find it and I was so worried. Hubs had brought in this little tiny box, smaller than a shoe box and they were in there!

The packaging was delightful! And as promised it came with a pouch for the tikes and a foldable reusable tote bag.

On to fit! My feet will suffer no pain. I'm that girl whose worn Birkenstocks constantly since middle school because once you break them in they are the most comfortable shoes. I wear bean boots and Ugg Boots to work in the winter because I cannot let my feet get cold.

But I ultimately decided to return them because my big toe protruded too much! You can see it trying to stick its way up through the top of the shoe. This is one of the things I absolutely can't stand about my body--my assertive big toes. If it weren't for my silly big, big, big toes I would have kept them!

And don't worry! I found a wonderful pair of more professional looking navy flats at Talbots and I've almost retired my well worn pair (I'm saving them for snow days).

Transformation Tuesday

Like your average American woman, I struggle with my body sometimes. I've talked about it in the past on the blog. (See my thoughts on the Advocare Cleanse, my thoughts on healthy eating, and any of my "healthy" recipe posts.)

Me this winter, as you can see my suit jacket is too tight!

Last winter added a lot of insulation to my body; it didn't help me stay any warmer and you may have noticed that I kept mentioning that my suit jackets weren't buttoning anymore. I knew I needed to do something so that I wouldn't have to buy a whole new closet and that something was exercise. Hubs and I already eat fairly healthy though I do know that my position sizes were sometimes larger than necessary.

I also knew I needed to be more active because my doctor said that exercise was the best way to keep my bad cholesterol down at a healthy level. I used to run in the lead up to my wedding and I had enjoyed that but there was no way this wimpy asthmatic was going to keep running in the dark, in -16º weather, and in 100" of snow so even if I started running in the spring I couldn't keep it going all year round. I has played WiiFit on our Wii and then I transitioned to WiiFitU when Hubs bought a Wii U but I found it dull and it took way more than 30 minutes to get 30 minutes of activity because of the wait between the mini game exercises. So I started looking around and I found the 21 Day Fix and it was amazing. I started in March; I completed one 21 day round of the Fix and I've been using the videos pretty regularly for the past six months!

Me July 4th 2014 and July 4th this year in my Lilly Pulitzer Sparks Fly Shorts.
My blue polo shirt (left) is last July and my pink cardigan (right) is this July.
I may not look much different but I feel different in a good kind of way!

I've been exercising regularly for about half a year now and my legs are so strong and they fit into my shorts so much better! My suits fit perfectly again! My asthma is better as well; I haven't had to use my rescue inhaler all summer. I'm kind of excited to go back to my doctor's office and get blood drawn; my cholesterol levels must be normal, or close to it, now because of all the exercise I've been doing. And, I maybe this winter will be better than last because, while fat insulates, muscles burn energy and that makes you warm! Oh and also I lost about 15 pounds and a few inches from both my hips and my waist.

Because of the really positive experience I've had with the 21 Day Fix, I've decided to become an online health and fitness coach so that I can share the 21 Day Fix with others and help them out with their health and fitness goals! So count this as an invitation to message me about trying 21 Day Fix, Shakeology, and/or joining my next fitness accountability group! If you're interested, comment below, email me at eah081112@gmail.com, or visit my beachcody coach website! Starting next week I'll be working through the 21 Day Fix Extreme with whoever joins my accountability group for the month, I'm still looking for a few more people! I can't wait to see how much stronger my body gets.

Best,

EAH

PS As a Beachbody coach, I receive commissions when I help Beachbody sell their products. Like someone who sells Scentsy or Mary Kay products. 

What have we gotten ourselves into...

This is a pictureless post, you'll soon learn why.

Last August, Hubs and I went to a presentation to learn about becoming foster parents. We signed up for the next training class scheduled for our area. We had our house inspected by the fire marshall! He let us know that our windows were perfect for escaping out of in case of a fire, though he missed our first floor fire alarm and, also, that plastic dryer vents catch on fire easily. We fixed the problems he identified so that our house would be safe. We set up my sister-in-law's old bunk bed in our guest bedroom. A social worker came to interview us separately. In October we started our training classes from 6 to 9 at night on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We had eight training classes. Our case worker told us he hopped we would be licensed before the holidays. We got our licensing certificate in February.

We were so excited and I was kind of terrified. I am not at all a loving and maternal sort of person. I am practical and pragmatic; as my husband says I've got the emotional depth of a shallow puddle. But I knew I could count on Hubs to help with the feelings and emotions and I could knock meeting material needs out of the park and show love by showing concern about favorite foods and things needed for comfort so I knew we'd do all right.

We had a wonderful little girl placed with us in March, on my husband's birthday. She just got dropped off right after school. It has been quite the adventure for us to get used to her and for her to get used to us. In June, we had another kiddo join us. We are so thankful that the two girls get along, better than I got along with my little sisters. I am so happy that we've got to know them.

Anyway, because they're not ours and we hope that they'll go back to living with their moms and dads, I can't talk about them much or share pictures of them. So, that's why there are no pictures in this post. And, I probably won't mention them much except now I'll be able to say my recipes have been kid tested.

I don't know what being a parent to children that you and your partner gave birth to is like. But I now know what it's like to take care of kids and it's really hard and kind of scary sometimes. I think it's worth it, but it's the hardest thing I've ever done and I've taken two Bar Exams. This is legitimately the biggest thing that's happened in my life, let alone in this year I haven't been blogging.

Best,
eHa

I'm Back...

So it's been awhile but I am back. As I've talked about in the past, I graduated from law school and couldn't find a full time job. I lawyer temp work for a non-profit and contract work for local attorneys. Last year I got offered a position as a law clerk and I jumped at the opportunity! Clerkships are relatively prestigious because you work and learn about how judges think and how the courts work.

Unfortunately for me, because law clerks work so closely with the judges they have to follow the same ethical rules as the judges which can be summed up as: Be impartial and don't do anything thing that makes it look like you might be partial. Law clerks likewise cannot do anything that might seem to make the courts look unfair or undignified. If you're really curious, you can read the American Bar Association's Model Code of Judicial Conduct or this Handout on Judicial Ethics for Law Clerks (this last one has a whole section on social media use which can be summed up with this: "You cannot exercise too much caution with online activities.")

In what may have been an over abundance of caution, I stopped blogging and made my blog private. I did not want to get myself or the courts in trouble because of some silly thing I blogged about. I also deleted my LinkedIn account because I was only connected to other lawyers and I unfriended almost everyone on Facebook that I wasn't actually friends with. (I stayed pretty active on Instagram because I'm a twenty-something and I would go crazy without social media.) My clerkship is now over, I learned a lot, and I have a job practicing law! So I am making full use of my First Amendment Rights, I'm back on LinkedIn, I am friending EVERYONE on Facebook, and I am starting up my blog again! So much has changed in the last year and I can't wait to share everything! You guys, I've missed blogging so much!

Best,

eHA

Moving Tips

Hubs and I finally got around to debriefing the move. Here are our notes on what went well and what needs to go better next time. We moved about an hour away and we had about a two week overlap between places so we could move most of our things slowly.

Things to Improve

Communication. I thought I told Hubs to pack certain things or to do things and he didn't hear me. We had planned to treat our helpers to lunch and one of them didn't hear us so we were worried about him when he didn't show up. He had stopped at Burger King to get himself lunch. Hubs also packed some of the things that I wanted to throw out.

One of the things I thought I told Hubs was that we should number the boxes and make an index. Hubs did not. When we moved in we weren't really sure where important things were (like batteries and light bulbs). Next time we'll put special stickers on the boxes with important things on them so we know to open those first.

We'll also want to label the furniture so our helpers know which room it should go in.

We need to keep the house better organized in order to pack better and we need to Stop hoarding things in our basement and keep the basement organized so that we can pack it better. Our basement at our old place ended up a pile of trash.

Make a list of things to pack last then pack everything else. Don't save too much for the last day. We rented a moving truck for the last Saturday in our old place. We went back Sunday and still had two carloads of things to bring up because we left a number of things for the last minute. Hubs didn't want to be living out of a suitcase surrounded by boxes so we didn't pack up a lot of stuff until the last minute. We ended up just throwing things in reusable grocery bags and trash bins because we had run out of boxes and couldn't get out to buy more.

Hire cleaners to clean the new place (and maybe the old). We spent a couple of days cleaning our new place (it was incredibly filthy in some of the out of the way places). Then we had to spend a day scrubbing our old apartment. It would have been so much easier if we had, had more help with this. Plus, in our new place while brining furniture in we tracked in so much dirt so sweeping and mopping had been kind of pointless and that time would have been better spent dusting walls and cleaning hard to reach places that wouldn't have gotten dirty again.

Take a trip to the hardware store before moving everything in to get plungers*, fresh cleaning cleaning supplies (I did not want to move our old toilet brush and I wanted a new broom for the upstairs), tools you'll need in the new house like two to three prong outlet converters, and anything else that you'll need new in the new place right away.

Hire movers. My back was too sore to lift things by the end of our big moving day. Hubs back gave out sometime the next week.

Good Things

Mover's plastic wrap was the best thing ever.
As I noted earlier, I used it to seal up bins without tops and wrap shoe boxes together into large bundles. We used it to wrap plastic drawers in and keep the furniture pads on our few nice pieces of furniture.

We cleaned our bathroom and bedroom before we moved in so when we moved in the most important parts of the house were clean.

Yeah for stock pilling paper towels. We haven't had enough rags to do all the cleaning we need to do so, despite our environmentalist tendencies (we wash and reuse ziplock bags), we've been really happy to have tons of paper towels.

I have a hard time focusing on the positives.

Any other suggestions about how to make a move go smoothly?

*One of our helpers had trouble with our toilet. He was able to solve the problem with a stick but then he left the "poop" stick in a trash bag in our bathroom. (We suggested he throw it in the creek in our backyard but he didn't want to do that.) We didn't have an outside garbage bin yet so it had to stay there until we could get one. Ugh.

I Know I'm Getting Old Because . . .

I usually listen to NPR during my commute. I listen to my oldies stations (90s on 9 and Pop 2k) instead of Top 40 Radio. (I've always listened to real oldies since I like classic rock and Motown.)

I am so confused by piercings and tattoos. I have no idea when they seem to have suddenly become popular and common in the past couple of years.

I have absolutely no time for new tech. I am still rocking my iPhone 4 and I have no use for SnapChat. I am not a fan of the new cars that turn on without keys.

I only wear comfortable flats and I like wearing pantyhose to work.

I am continually surprised by interns who wear too short dresses and skirts to work.

I go to sleep by 10 most nights, even on weekends. Even if I am gripped by insomnia, I am probably in bed.

I have a growing collection of handwritten receipe cards.

Moving

I spent about twenty minutes looking for my oatmeal this morning. Only to remember that it was one of the first things we ended up putting away in our new pantry. Oops.

I didn't quite realize how exhausting and time consuming moving was. I thought I'd have time to queue up a post to go out today about what worked well during our move and what we'll have to change next time. But Hubs and I were to exhausted to even reflect. Hopefully, we'll be able to reflect and I'll be able to post later this week.

My Life - I Need to Vent

So I try to paint a relatively accurate picture of my life. I don't want to paint my life as all seashells and balloons 24/7/365. I don't think anyone's life is like that no matter how happy they are. Right now my personal life is all sharp broken seashells, sea glass that hasn't been polished by waves enough, and deflated and popped balloons. My parents are getting a divorce. I alluded to this earlier as it made E3's graduation interesting. But it's become slightly overwhelming lately. Moving has also caused complications. And, the world is falling apart.

Head Lice

Hubs went to the doctor yesterday morning because I had bugged him about it. He has some small problems that had bothered him for a long time. One of them was that his head itched. I have bad allergies so I itch all the time and thought nothing of it. Hubs had head lice. (He probably got it from one of his students.) He called me at work to tell me. (Using Foxy Lady as the ring tone for your husband and then not putting your phone on silent will result in embarrassment if he calls you at work.)

I use Hubs as a pillow 45% of nights and the rest of the nights we share a pillow. My head itches and it looks like I have head lice too. Hubs is going to have to comb out my afro with a nit pick. On the plus side it looks like I will be using a sick day on our anniversary so we can socially groom one another like the primates we are.

My Mom

My parents had been in counseling since I was in high school at least. They had trust issues. My sophomore year of college my dad bought a house without telling my mom. A few years after that my dad switched the beneficiary on his life insurance plan from my mom to my sisters and me and my mom flew off the handle. But they kept trying to make things work.

They kept at it until last March when my dad apparently bought a house for his secretary without telling my mom. She thinks he's having an affair. He's not. If you knew him you'd know how implausible that seems. My dad moved out. My mom hired a big shot lawyer who specializes in rich people divorces. They spent a year working on a post-nuptial agreement. That fell thru and my mom filed for divorce this spring.

via Kim Seng

I'll grudgingly admit my mom is justifiably paranoid, my dad has bought houses without telling her. But she has been so unreasonable lately! She told our guests at E3's graduation that he was going to come with his mistress! My dad just has his sister living near by and my mom is slandering my aunt too! My mom has been trying to limit the time we spend with her. E3 called me to vent about how our mom had fought with her about a visit she had planned with our paternal aunt.

The part that sparked this rant is that she won't stop getting us involved in their legal dispute. We keep telling them that we do not want to talk with them about the divorce in any detail. My dad generally respects this. Sometimes I regret asking him certain questions because there's no way for him to answer them without talking about he divorce.

But my mom ignores us. So last month she asked me to talk with my dad about the settlement agreement her attorney has proposed. She told me to "talk to him about the pros and cons as you see it from a legal point of view."

I was so upset when I saw this email in my inbox. I've told her I want to be supportive but I don't want to be involved. I have also told my parents a million times that I cannot give them legal advice because I am not admitted to the bar in their state and that I don't feel comfortable giving them legal advice because I don't like mixing professional and personal relationships (my respect and admiration for my parents clouds my professional judgment).

I took a couple of days to collect myself before responding by saying: "No. I love you both and I do not want to be perceived as taking sides. I think it is unfair that you have asked me to do this." Hubs said this seemed a bit harsh. In retrospect he's probably right but I really thought it was in appropriate for my mom to have asked the question in the first place.

I hopped in the shower and when I got out I had three angry crying voicemail messages from my mom.

She told me about how he felt hurt because her family (me and my sisters) were as supportive of her when she was going through breast cancer induced menopause as her sister-in-law's family was. She told me she was hurt because I was doing the same thing as my dad by refusing to talk to her. In the last message she left she expressed her own disappointment at having raised me to hide from people who were hurting instead of comforting them.^†

I decided to pretend like I hadn't heard any of the messages and sent her a text saying "I saw you called while I was in the shower." My grandma called me back and we talked.

My mom called later and kind of apologized.

A couple of weeks later, she cc'ed me and my siblings on an email in response to my dad about divorce things. And I was angry all over again.

I am still upset about my mom situation, as evidenced by this long post, and by the fact that I changed her ring tone to the scariest loudest alarm sounding ringtone on my phone. What I hate most about this whole thing is that I feel like this whole thing is mostly my dad's fault (who buys real estate without telling their spouse?!) But he's been the better parent throughout this mess. He doesn't go crazy and leave angry voicemail messages on my phone he doesn't talk about the divorce unless I bring it up first. It's so hard to be sympathetic to my mom's situation when I am down right afraid to tell her to respect my wishes regarding this. I almost feel like she doesn't care that my parents are getting divorced!

via Bernard Blanc

I also really resent how it feels like she's trying to keep me away from my dad. She came out and visited me with E2 over father's day weekend last year and this year she wants us to go to Walt Disney World (without Dad) for the holidays. I worry about my dad. He's 10 years older than my mom, 40 years older than me. He had a DVT, a blood clot in his leg, this year which can be very bad, even fatal. He has high blood pressure (crazy wife maybe?). His hands have started shaking and he went to a Neurologist and it is likely that he has Parkinson's. (The good news is he's gotten real about his estate planning but that lead to him sending a crazy distressing email to his lawyer on which my siblings and I were cc'ed on saying I want to leave everything to my three daughters. I am legit afraid every single time I get an email from my parents because of this shit.*)

My Father-in-Law

Hubs and I are moving about an hour north, as you know. We currently live a 20 minute walk from his parents' house, it's about a mile. My FIL has come over to our place maybe twice. My MIL stops over fairly often, for example she brought us balloons for his birthday and stopped by to hide a graduation present for his sister. My BIL and SIL, they both live with their parents, come over maybe once a month to hang out.

I haven't talked to him about this so what I'm complaining about is all hearsay. But Hubs has said he's incredibly upset about how far away we're moving. He can't handle that and I can't handle how out of sorts it sounds like he is because we're moving just under an hour away. I can't even!

I live a three hour plane ride away from my parents. My mom seems like she might be turning into an alcohol because of divorce stress. My dad has Parkinson's and the DVT this year. My grandma has dementia and is slowly leaving us. At my cousin's wedding in June I realized that the last time I saw my grandpa was at my wedding. He lives in California and I don't have enough time or money to go out there and while he visits my mom our travel schedules never over lap. He fell this winter; he ended up with a skull fracture and had no memory of what happened. Thank goodness my stepgrandma found him. E3 just left to teach in Taiwan for a year.

A week ago I let my homesickness and stress loose on Hubs and I just bawled. Anyway, I am annoyed with my FIL since it kind of seems like he doesn't really care about me or how I've moved so far away from my family so that Hubs can stay near his family. An hour isn't that far away, we'll see them just as often as we used to but I'm still over three hours and $400 away from my family and I love them and I want to see them. I just feel like the sacrifices I've made get no respect or consideration from him.

Ebola

I have been freaking out about the Ebola outbreak in West Africa. I am half-Nigerian. I have and aunt and uncle, their spouses and cousins who live there still. I've only meet my dad's brother and sister because I haven't been there. But there's been two confirmed cases now in Lagos, the largest city and one of the largest cities in the world. A traveler from Liberia wasn't showing symptoms when he got on a plane and when he got off he was sick. Now Nigerians have it. I am so worried.

If it comes to the US I am worried for my dad and E2 since they both work in hospitals where they might be exposed to someone who is contagious before it's confirmed that they have the disease. My dad is old and E2 is type 1 diabetic so I worry about their ability to deal with a bad infection.


</rant> Thank you for reading all those words. I really just needed to let that all out, again since Hubs has already heard this once, and blogging is cheaper than therapy especially since I have a $15 copay.

^†I thought this was a low blow as I had previously expressed concern that I often half wonder if I should have been diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum because I am sometimes socially awkward and as Hubs describes it I have the emotional depth of a small puddle. I'm pretty sure I'm within a standard deviation of normal but sometimes I think I must be pretty close to being outside out one standard deviation from the normal in terms of socialness.

^*Please excuse my language this once, this situation calls for strong words.