There Will Be Mud

It may or may not be frozen.

A Summary of Our Tree Finding Adventures

This weekend Mr. H and I went to look for a Christmas tree. Mr. H needs to find the perfect tree. The tree he searches for is tall enough that it almost touches the ceiling, it is full, and it is relatively large around. (If Mr. H were a rapper he might make a novelty cover of Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back" about Christmas trees since he can honestly say "I like big [trees] and I can not lie").

Last year, we went to the tree farm his family used to always go to and we went home empty handed because none of the trees there were good enough. The next day he went with his brother to a different tree farm in Edgecomb and found a winner.

So this year we started in Edgecomb. Mr. H picked me up from the CA$H training, where I started to learn how to prepare tax returns to help low income people, around 1 p.m. and we headed north to the Green Acre Tree Farm. Their trees cost about $7 a foot + $3 for bundling so we were planning on spending about $50. They did not take credit cards and Ben had forgotten to get extra cash (I tried to stay jolly so there was no I told you so). We drove aways to an ATM, paid some bank fees, and got some cash. 

Started looking for a tree around 2:00. There's a steep hill from the farm office to down to the trees and there's another hill between the first batch of trees and even more trees. It was cold and muddy. It was right around freezing and very windy. We found one tree right away that was okay but it looked very dead inside so we were both worried that it wouldn't last a very long time.

Top L-to-R: Mud, Green Acre Tree Farm

Bottom L-to-R: Fake Ducks by the Frozen Pond,

Discarded Tires on the Edge of the Farm

(There were at least three "dumps" with trash scattered about the farm.)

We walked around for a long time looking for a better tree. The trees weren't very evenly spaced and some grew into one another so it was hard to see their shape. We didn't find one after walking around forever so we went back to the dead inside tree and some family was chopping it down! We walked around some more up and down the hills looking for another tree that we might be able to take home with us. There were some that looked okay but they were all very crooked and lopsided. (Our second Christmas tree fell over on us so I am a picky about how straight the tree is.) 

We left empty handed after over an hour and a half of walking around in the cold, windy twilight. We got home around 4:00. It was a long disappointing afternoon after a morning learning about preparing taxes. (Not the best Saturday.)

I really wanted to get a tree that weekend. It seemed to close to Christmas not to have a tree and I was afraid that if we waited until next weekend it would be even colder and possibly snowy when we went to choose a tree. After we got home Mr. H called his mom to ask about other tree farms. She suggested Fredrickson's in Monmouth. We decided we'd get up extra early on Sunday and go there.

Mr. H in the Big Old Trees
at Fredrickson's

I was glad we did. As we drove up we saw all the perfect trees in perfectly spaced in a "field" next to the road. From the road, every tree looked nearly perfect. I was so incredibly happy. There was no parking lot so we pulled over by the side of the road next to their office, got out, and started looking. (The all the trees here were only $36 bundled!) It was cold though, with the wind child it was supposed to feel like 14º.

I can touch the celling in our apartment so we use me
as a measuring stick to see if the tree will fit in house.

Fortunately, we found a tree in less than an hour and we had the opposite problem from the one we had the previous day! Instead of trying to find the best tree in a field of mediocre ones, we had to decide which tree was the best of the best!

Ben got out his saw and chopped down the winner and a nice lady helped him saw it down. Ben passed along the kind act and later helped a women and two children, who I assume were her sons, chop down their tree.

The office and the Tree Bundler.
They also had a shaker which shook the
loose needles out of the tree before they bundled it!

Then we carried our bundled tree back to my car and loaded it up. I tied most of the knots since I considered my self a sailor for a brief time in middle school (I took lessons and sailed on the Lake). We got back in the car and I poured us the hot chocolate that I had packed in my thermos that morning, it was still scalding after over three hours in the car.

I did a good job tying the tree to the car.

The Sun Roof is Useful for Monitoring the Tree
We watched the tree and it did not budge even though
we were going 55 mph and going around curves.
I have mad knot tying skills!

We got home and Mr. H had to go sing so we left the tree on top of the car. He got home from his performance right before dinner so he took the tree down and measured it. It was 9 feet tall! We knew we'd have to cut off some but we weren't expecting it to be quite so tall. Our ceilings are only about 8 feet high. He cut off quite a bit. (I'm going to make a swaggy thing for the front door with the trimmings, I think, since there is a lot.) We brought the tree in to put it in the stand and it was still too tall! Our ceiling was okay. We trimmed off a bit of the trunk and tried again. The tree was still too tall; fortunately, the ceiling was still okay. The third time was the charm.

My Lumber Jack Husband

Mr. H ended up cut about four inches off the bottom of the once we got it inside.  But we got it up eventually and it fills our living room. Mr. H keeps talking about how nice it looks and smells. I think he is very happy with it so all the trouble we getting it had over the weekend is forgotten.

We let it rest a day. Just incase. The trunk was a little crooked and I we didn't want it to tip over. We usually decorate it right away. Also, we were very tired.

My Natural Hair Story - #NoHeatDecember

This post is inspired by Vett Vandiver of Real College Students of Atlanta's #NoHeat December Challenge. Read about the challenge there and look at the blogs of the other bloggers who are participating.

Heat, as you may know, can really damage your hair, this challenge is about keeping your hair healthy. This isn't a big challenge for me because I usually don't use heat on my hair since it is too short to style. (Only when it's below 20 degrees since that's too cold to go out with wet hair.) But, I really like this challenge and I want to spread word of it because it touches on something important, embracing yourself as you are.


When I was little my mom would send me and my sisters with my aunt to have our hair braided. I didn't like having my hair braided it was long and boring and painful. Before middle school I started getting my hair permed to make it straight.

In Hawaii with our Hair Braided
L to R: E3, E2, Me!

One of my Middle School Portraits
We can all pretend we never saw this, right?
This looks like a very bad hair day.

Sometimes I would relax my hair at home and burn myself with the chemicals. I'd also burn myself with a curling iron. In high school and college, I would spend at least 20 minutes every other day blow drying my hair and then straight ironing it. I'd spend lots of money on products for my hair to lessen the damage I'd caused using heat and chemicals. When I'd go to have a hairstylist relax and style my hair it was expensive, too. It took a long time to get my hair done and I'd have to have it re-permed every month and a half or so.

Sophomore Year Homecoming
My Hair at its Longest

I liked having long pretty hair and being able to have it style was a plus. But like I said before I spent at least an hour a week making my hair look pretty and I'd spend money on product and tools.

This a a great photo of my hair.

I'd have to bring my supplies with me on family trips because my mom loves photos and she'd put them up all over the house and I didn't want to look bad in them. So I'd have to make space in my suitcase for my leave in conditioner, my hair dryer, and my straightening iron. Think of all the clothes I could bring instead.

Looking Nice in Kauai with the Family
Top L to R: E2, Mom, Dad, Me
From: E3

You can't look nice all the time.
Sometimes a candid photo
captures a bad, bad hair day.

I also had bad hair days. Because I was fighting with my hair when it rebelled it looked really bad (see above). It was hard to be spontaneous when I was worried about blowdrying my hair and making it look nice before going any place nice. My concerns made being pushed in the pool and extra disaster. In college, I started getting lazy and stopped blow drying my hair all the time. But I really didn't like how that looked.

The Pool, So Dangerous

See! My Hair Looked All Scraggly Unblowdried.
I really didn't like it but in College I was too Lazy to Care.
L to R: Me, ET, JR

My husband, then boyfriend, really encouraged me to go natural. I kinda think he just thought it would be cool to have a girlfriend with an afro, but his love and support really helped me find the courage to stop spending so much time worrying about my hair. I was also starting to find my first grey hairs and I was terrified of how my hair would react to relaxer and hair dye. I also knew that one day I'd have children and I wouldn't want them putting gross chemicals in their hair and burning themselves and I didn't want to look like a hypocrite to as of yet unborn teenage girls. So, I stopped relaxing my hair in the spring of my junior year of college. I left my natural hair grow in under my straightened hair (it was not great looking but it wasn't horrible) and I went in for a big chop that summer.

My Hair on a Cruise Post Big Chop
L to R: Me, E3, E2

After getting my hair chopped it was great. There was so much less to worry about. I went on a cruise with my family. I didn't have to bring a ton of hair products, I didn't have to bring a blow drier or a straightening iron. I even forgot my comb but that wasn't too much of a problem since I could use my fingers until my mom found me a cool wooden comb in Italy (the shops on board the ship didn't have any wide tooth combs).

My Senior Year: The Year of Bad Hair Days
This is how your hair will look if you do not cut it for a year.

It took me a while to get used to my natural hair texture. It was a big change. I didn't know any cool ways to style it or how best to take care of it. I didn't get my hair cut at all my senior year of college because the only way I could think of styling it with my cap and gown was in an afro bun. Since part of the reason I went natural was to minimize the time I spent dealing with my hair this was not a good plan, see the above photo. I did not have the patience or pain endurance to pick out my hair into a pretty afro. (I must have an incredibly sensitive scalp.) I wish I would have thought to hop on YouTube (if they even had it back then 5 years ago) and look for hair styling tutorials.

There have been problems. I came home from college one break and my mom said I looked like Angela Davis (while I was no longer a College Republican, I didn't want to be compared to a Marxist in any way). When my aunt came to visit from Nigeria after the big chop she asked me what I'd done with my pretty hair. (I do miss my long pretty hair.) I've also gotten more than my fair share of horrible hair cuts since the big chop. The worst was a hairstylist who told me that I looked like Michael Jackson and then clarified that she meant a young Michael Jackson (that did not help). The haircut wasn't bad but that comparison ruined my day.

My Second Worst Hair Cut
My hair was cut so short that it was
too short to comb for weeks.
I still looked okay but I was so annoyed.

It's been very hard for me to find someone who can cut my hair. Hairstylists seem to have a hard time cutting curly hair. I've had a hairstylist who regularly missed chunks of my hair and I wouldn't notice that a section of my hair had gone uncut until I got home and I'd have to fix it myself. It happened twice then I looked for a new salon. I had another hair cut where the stylist cut my hair so short that I was practically bald. Curly hair shrinks when wet. My hair gets picked out when wet, because my hair is more pliable when wet, and then gets cut. When it dries it shrinks back. On of my friends, a Mainer of Irish decent, with wicked curly hair also has problems getting her hair cut because apparently it is very hard for people to understand curly hair. If you cut half an inch of curly hair pulled straight out the hair will end up being far more than half an inch shorter. I usually ask to have the length halved because half straightened out works out to half when curly. But I just had my best hair cut ever here in town and I am almost excited to go back.

This is about the perfect length.

I really miss having long straight pretty hair. I miss being able to style my hair, but this is more so a problem because I like my hair so short. Overall I am really with my choice. I never have bad hair days anymore. I never use have to use a shower cap while sailing anymore (stray moisture means having to straighten iron all over again). I've saved time and money (I spend the money I've saved on more expensive shampoo and conditioner, though). I have over extra an hour of my life each week because I'm not fighting my hair to make it be something that it's not. My hair is healthy and strong now. It's still dry sometimes but it's not brittle and fragile. I am grateful that my husband supported and encouraged the change and I am proud of myself for sticking with it.

From what I gather, the choice to go natural with their hair is a big one for Black women in particular. But this lesson of embracing yourself as you are is something that all people can benefit from. You are you and you were made the way you are. Why should you have to spend time and money fighting yourself? Why should you put yourself at risk of harm to make yourself be something other than what you are? For example, my mom and I spend a lot of time tanning (my mom more so than I). We should embrace the pale, stop wasting our time baking in the sun, and we should stop putting ourselves at risk of getting skin cancer.

Do you think about how much time and money you spend on your hated beauty rituals? Do you have any horrible haircut stories? (Does it to top being told that you looked like Michael Jackson? I think that this is one of the worst things that has ever happened to me where someone was not trying to be mean.)

PS After I finished this post the first time, Blogger and I working managed to delete it all and going to edit undo would not bring it back. To say I was unhappy would be an understatement. The proof reading on this post might be a bit worse than usual because of my resulting frustration.

Thanksgiving Recap

Mr. Handsom and I were so fortunate this year. We went to visit my family for Thanksgiving this year. We were able to fly out of the Portland International Jetport instead of going to Boston Logan and we flew out on Tuesday! The last time we spent Thanksgiving at my parents' house they picked us up on the airport Thursday morning on the way to my Grandma's house. I was so happy to spend the extra time with my family and my friends from high school.

L to R: ET, Me!, and JR when we were in College

On Wednesday we spent the day resting. I invited my high school friend over for Giordano's. I finally got to see my BFF JR! She had been teaching English in Korea for years and years and she finally came home. But she's headed to Zambia before the end of the year and she wants to teach English in the Czech Republic next. It was good to see ET and JR. We don't do a great job staying in touch while we're away--at most we send an occasional snap chat or text. But when we're all back together it's like we're 17 again but smarter and more cynical. I am so thankful that I have friends who are so consistent.

My little sister, E3, decided that she wanted Pumpkin Pie for TGive. So I had Mr. H call his mom to get her pumpkin pie recipe. It is the best and you should give it a try if you don't think you like pumpkin pie. E3 and my dad went to the grocery store to get the pie ingredients and other last minute things. They came home with a graham cracker pie shell and fat free sweetened condensed milk. I gave her a ribbing for her choices and I stayed up after my friends left and made a real pie crust.

The pie in the auxiliary oven at Grandma's

Thursday was Thanksgiving Day! We woke up early and headed to my Grandma's house in Rockford. My sister mixed up the pumpkin pie and my mom and grandma made the corn pudding (also called scalloped corn or simply corn). After the pie and the corn were done we packed up and headed to my Aunt and Uncle's for dinner. We got there right before my Aunt took the turkey out of the oven. My job has always been to make the gravy so I did but this time I accidentally made dumplings in the gravy. My grandma helped me sort that out and the gravy turned out perfectly.

The Buffet Table at my Aunt and Uncle's
with Rainbow Jello Salad, Green Bean Casserole, Corn Pudding,
Mashed Potatoes, Stuffing or Dressing (I don't know if this was
from in the bird or the extra that was just baked), Turkey, Rolls,
Cinnamon Bread (a new item), and Vegetables.

We sat down to say grace and I am thankful because we skipped going around and saying what we were thankful for. I was so worried that Mr. H would say something flippant. But he told me later he would have said he was thankful for all the opportunities he had in life. I probably would have said I was thankful for the support of my family. During dinner we got to listen to my cousin and stepfather talk about how horrible patent lawyers are. Apparently they are money grubbing vultures. I told everyone about my trial and about how I was a good lawyer.

The View from my Seat at the Table

I learned that my young cousin had bought a house. He and his wife are graduating from college this month. My mom and my uncle told me all about the how this was a good time to buy a house and how we probably could afford to buy one now. I am so full of envy right now. It seems like everyone is buying houses but I am unemployed and Mr. H is a public school teacher so we cannot join in in the home buying frenzy. And, since we'd like for Mr. H to stay home with the children when they are young we probably won't be able to afford a house even after I get a job since there will be a time when only one of us it working.

The Sunset on the Way Home

After dinner we headed home. I convinced E2 to play Christmas music in my mom's car on the way home! My dad had a work thanksgiving at our house for his coworkers who don't have family in the country. He did not give them food poising despite our fears. While taking one of his coworkers home and he took Mr. H and me to our friends' apartment in the city. JS and AT got married this summer and we helped them move from Massachusetts to Chicago! (Read about it here.) They had hosted our dear friend AH in their new home for their first Thanksgiving together. We joined them for a friendsgiving desert. JS made apple pie. I also had some of the delicious cranberry sauce AT made.

Friendsgiving Breakfast!
Top L to R: JS, AT, AH, and Mr. H.
Bottom L to R: AT, AH, Mr. H, and JS

We stayed over night and it was like a giant sleep over. The next day JS made us pancakes and even the buckwheat ones tasted great. Then the five of us walked along the lake and to Lincoln Park Zoo. I was surprised by how many people were there! We saw lots of animals--including a very cold looking zebra but no polar bears (apparently it was too cold for the bears outside). At the end of the day I had over 17,000 steps on my pedometer most days when I don't go for a run I top out around 4,000 steps. When we got back we made snowflakes to help AT decorate their apartment. Until my sister came to pick us up and bring us home because I didn't want to take my mom's air mattress and my garbage bag full of dirty sheets on the L.

Birds at the Zoo

My mom got to bang a gong because it was her birthday.

We went to dinner at Kegon, a Japanese steakhouse, to celebrate my mom's birthday (it fell on Thanksgiving this year) so we celebrated as a family on Friday. Dinner was delicious. Mr. H and I stopped by the grocery store to buy some Krispy Kreme doughnuts before meeting the rest of my family at home. After dinner we gave Mom our presents. She really liked the Alex and Ani bracelets I picked out for her and they fit her. (I blogged about them earlier, read more here.)

We tried to figure out why there was a
soju ad in Spanish at Kegon, a Japanese
 restaurant. I think the owners are Korean but
that doesn't explain why the ad is in Spanish.

All the steps I took on Friday.

On Saturday, I started trying to fix the lights in my parent's sunroom. Mr. H and I took them apart and relized that we didn't have the right bulbs in the house for them. So my mom and I went to the hardware store to get lights bulbs and pull chains. Then we went to Carson's for a little bit of holiday shopping (we got nothing) but I did get a carmel brûlée latte from Starbucks, my first of the season. Then we went to Giordano's and I picked up the frozen pizzas I had ordered to take back with me. When we got back I fixed the lights (kind of since I replaced the lights on one of the fans and the lights still wouldn't turn on) and installed the pull chains to make it easier to turn them on and off.

The pizzas made it back safe and sound and frozen.

Saturday Evening, AT and JS stopped by my parents' house after dropping AH off at O'Hare. We took them to Epic Burger at Old Orchard (the outdoor mall) for dinner. The milkshakes there are the best and the burgers are great too. The service was wonderful. After dinner we wandered around the mall and went to the mall and went to Marbles the Brain Store. We played a fun game called Anomia where you shout words out with the friendly store clerk.

I do not remember how many times this cup was filled up.

Then I went to a Korean bar to sing karaoke with my high school friends. We ended up up not singing. I just got slightly tipsy drinking a kiwi and soju cocktail and spilled wings on myself and my dry clean only shirt. (For the record it is hard to eat wings with chopsticks when you're not sober.) We had such a good time remembering the past. Except for a horrible incident at one of my birthday party slumber parties which involved nudity and candy being stuck up sleeping people's noises. (I was asleep and apparently spared because it was my birthday my dear friend ET was not so lucky.) AT and JS played pool in my parents' basement with Mr. H while I was away.

I went home, packed up, and went to bed so that Mr. Handsome and I could fly out the next morning. AT and JS took us to O'Hare since my parents had to take E3 to Midway for her 6 am flight back to Princeton. I was so happy to visit at home.

My Plate at Thanksgiving Dinner

Now for the not so happy. This Thanksgiving was a hard one.

The last Thanksgiving I spent at home was the last time I saw my cousin Chase alive. So I reflected on this when I was home and there's no way to get around how sad this is. I'm not over come with grief but especially at holidays and family gatherings it's hard not to think about how he's not with us.

Also, this was the first Thanksgiving that my grandma did not cook. She has dementia. It is not bad yet but last Christmas she almost gave us all food poisoning (the turkey was not cooked enough). My mom was worried that preparing dinner and having everyone over would be too over whelming for her. When my mom was making the corn, neither of them could remember the recipe and I had to look it up. It's hard knowing that I'm making my last memories with her.

My parents have been having trouble. They almost got a divorce this year. My dad moved out sometime last winter. (He bought a house for his secretary. He is not having an affair but it doesn't look that way.)  Also, he made a mistake on his taxes and the IRS has been threatening to seize the house I grew up in to make up for the unpaid taxes. My parents are doing a lot better than they were when I was home over the summer but I am not sure if my dad has moved back home yet. (He fired his secretary since it turned out she was stealing from him.) But, because my mom thought they would divorce and the house would be sold (or in the alternative seized by the IRS) she emptied it. She's taken most of the pictures off the wall. She packed up most of my childhood knickknacks that decorated my bedroom. For some reason she replaced my bed with a new one. It is bigger but there is no place for me to put my glasses at night. I have a very hard time with change.

Also, the internet at my parents' house is horrible! Which only compounds my misery.

So, though the holidays are usually happy. Sometimes they are very hard for people. I hope that everyone who reads will have some compassion for those of us who get anxious at times around the holidays since that's when we might have to remember the less than joyous things that have happened in our lives.

How were your holidays? What does your family eat for Thanksgiving? (My favorite thing is the jello salad my Aunt makes.) If you celebrate Hanukkah did your family do anything different for Thanksgiving this year because the holidays overlapped?

Happy Holidays!

Happy Hanukkah to those who Celebrate!

and

Happy Thanksgiving to my Fellow Americans!

Our Holiday cards have gone out in the mail! The first batch went out on Saturday and the second batch will go out today.

I have deviated from my usual Tuesday and Thursday post schedule. There's so much to do to get ready for Thanksgiving and many friends and family members that I'd like to spend time with (and my computer is acting up and the internet is being slow) so I will write again next Tuesday.

I hope your Holiday seasons starts off on a joyous and happy note! See you in December.

Holiday Outfits

It's the holiday season! Hanukkah and Thanksgiving are next week!

Mr. H and I alternate holidays with our respective families so one year it's TGive with my family and Christmas with his and the next year it's this other way around. Our families are so different!

Holidays with my family mean time with my mom's whole family and it's kind of dressy. When we were little our parents would put us in nice clothes but, now that my cousins are all old enough to dress themselves, it runs the gamut from jeans to nice slacks and nice shirts or sweaters. I usually dress nicely and make my poor husband dress nicely too. My in-laws just do holidays with their nuclear family + me and they are so casual. They don't dress up at all so I wear jeans to fit in.

I like dressing up and I like being festive thought I don't like it when others over do it (they've been playing Christmas music at the mall since November 1st, that's too soon). For holidays, though I want to look nice, I also want to wear something that will let me eat as much as possible in comfort. I love my Lilly Pulitzer Biaocchi pants for this purpose. They are super comfortable, dressy leggings so they are prefect for eating as much corn pudding, dressing, pie, and apple crisp as is possible. (Note: the biaocchi pants are now called the Travel Pant and are available here or if you're on a budget or need tall or petite sizes give these Old Navy Ponte Leggings a try.) I also recommend a flowy top as a fitted one will show just how much stuffing you've had.

Below are my dressy and casual outfit suggestions for the Holidays. I've also got a board on Pinterest where I've been pinning ideas for holiday outfits.

Thanksgiving Outfits

Shell: Talbots, Similar Here
Cardigan: Tory Burch Simone Cardigan
Pants: Lilly Pulitzer Biaocchi/Travel

Top: Talbots
Pants:Lilly Pulitzer Biaocchi/Travel

I may have to repeat this OOTD for TGive.

Blouse: Elizabeth McKay, similar here

I love my Elizabeth McKay Blouses.
The ruffle makes them just a little extra special.
If you can stand cashmere next to your skin then you
might want to try the Cashmere version.

Christmas Outfits

Dress; Talbots (last year)

I love this dress from Talbots. The plaid is so festive. I also love that I got it on
sale. It is a size too big but that is perfect for days when you want to
see how much corn pudding, stuffing, and apple crisp you can eat in one go.

Shirt: L.L. Bean, they no longer have the Princess Mary Tartan
Jeans: Joes' Jeans Cigarette Cut

Shell: Talbots
Cardigan: Tory Burch Simone Cardigan
Pants: Lilly Pulitzer Biaocchi/Travel

I'll likely need the cardigan since it will be
freezing in both Maine and Chicago.

Shell: Talbots
Pants: Lilly Pulitzer Biaocchi/Travel

But! This top is so cute on its own!

Shirt: Lilly Pulitzer
Sweater: J.Crew, old
Jeans: Joe's Jeans Cigarette Cut

You can't go wrong with Pink and Green
for Christmas (or any time).

What do you do for the holidays? Do you have Friendsgiving? Do you get together with your extended family or is it just your nuclear family? Do you dress up? Do you eat a lot?